Ughghghghgh I just feel so grossed out by my assignments lately. So many of them are either stupid or hard. I know I am just being whiney.
This was kindof fun to make though for animation class. But I’m not sure if it’s good enough.
All grown up on a Saturday morning January 28, 2008
So, my roommate was out of town this weekend.
[This is the beginning of any good story.]
And I built a fort.
[This is the best possible continuation of that story.]
My next-year-house-mate, Mike, and I built it in my room with matresses and hemp twine (to keep one of the matresses upright…) and blankets and a closet door across the desks. I woke up in my fort on Saturday morning and drank orange juice and watched Pinky and the Brain. (I now have all three volumes.)
It was at that moment that I realised that I am at a very strange point in maturity. Residence is like the summer camps of our youths, except with far more S.T.I.’s. Clothes and dish soap are shared around. Home cooked food is a highly valued commodity. People stay up very late whispering secrets to each other. Shower shoes are to be worn at all times. Showers are to be taken as infrequently as possible.
My roommate is home. We made dinner together tonight, and so are eating stirfry on vermicelli. It is real. We made it in a hideously unsatisfying dollar store frying pan. And sometimes I feel very wifey and grown up.
Plato midterm today. I am in that blissful state between worrying about the exam and being disappointed with the mark. Right now, there is nothing that I can do but wait and blog and snack… and maybe Pinky and the Brain.
Almost Refreshing… almost. January 28, 2008
So a couple of days ago, I got a mysterious message on facebook.
u have hairy legs?
I thought maybe this guy saw me on the “Girls Against Shaving” facebook group. I wasn’t sure what he was getting at, but I was curious.
You bet!
I wasn’t expecting it to go any further than this OR I thought he might say something like, “that’s disgusting!” That wasn’t the case.
how hairy?
Okay. It was getting a bit weird, but being the hair advocate that I am, I replied once more.
Moderately. Why do you ask?
because im kinda into women that are hairy. u like my profile pic?
Oh dear. Why did I have such high hopes for an interesting debate on female body image? Why why why.
I do not reply.
Drink Tea out of Styrofoam Cups. January 26, 2008
Things we have gone through millions of years of survival through complex evolution to do:
-
Invent/participate in/watch the WWE
Invent/participate in/watch the UFC
Listen to/be a member of the Pussy Cat Dolls
Invent/Eat “Philly-Cheesesteak Burgers”
Title shows “Dirty Sexy Money”
Write canonlike rounds such as “M-I-L-F, don’t forget that” and “Strip tease for me, baby.”
Torture Chickens when we think no one is looking
Torture humans when we think no one is looking
Create/watch/actively participate in American Idol
Spawn ‘Idol’s for every country
Have 7(?) seasons of American Idol
Allow someone to film/be the person who filmed movies such as “John Tucker Must Die” and “She’s the Man”
Elect Bush. Twice.
Smoke.
Pierce our clevage. (Just kidding, KT.)
Please, help me out guys.
Another personality? January 20, 2008
Yes, maybe potential-step-father from the looks of it.
Changes thus far:
- salty salty foods
- replacing beautiful Itzchak Tarkay paintings with ugly paintings or photos (by him)
- awkward conversations followed by my mother scolding me afterwards for my attitude
- unable to fall asleep because they are always talking/ cooking/ washing/ drinking/ being present
- mother disappears on random trips to the States
- no more normal exchanges of words with my mother in any context, thus, losing touch with everything that has to do with each other’s lives
- increased consumption in a general sense: more pieces of clothing (unappealing ones, might I add), foods: juice, juice, juice, nasty juice, meat, meat, meat, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, alcohol, emphasis on alcohol, cellphone,… the only one I might enjoy later is the stereo system.
Simply in the way I’m analyzing this… it seems like I’ve drawn myself away from the situation mentally.
I don’t know what to do about it and so I won’t.
I just want to skip all these years of depending on my mother and then proceed with eloping, conceiving, and dying.
My teacher is Janice. January 20, 2008
So now I have the same nightmare as Chandler. Marvelous.
She is my post-Confederation Canadian history teacher, 29, who just came out to B.C. to finish her master.
She just wiki-s our lectures, for which she refuses to post up the power-point or the digitized lecture.
Also! This is a three-hour course.
The lecture takes 2 hours; the lecture follows right after a 10-minute break.
The most ridiculous, stupid bureaucratic part of these Wednesday afternoons is that, during those 10 minutes, all of us, twenty-five students and Janice, has to run through the Academic Quadrangle corridors*to another classroom; even though! the class in which the lecture takes place is not occupied afterwards anyways.
*Academic Quadrangle (AQ) is a building that is shaped as a rectangle/box. So there are N, E, S and W corners while the center is hollow and on ground level, has a now frozen pond. That frozen pond is trashed by idiotic, perhaps frustrated students. They throw chairs and garbage cans into the pond. Ah!
Overheating At 10 Below. January 19, 2008
The other day I was storming down Bloor Street desperately trying to find a winter jacket. The idea of buying ANOTHER garment grosses me out but I figured I might need a little extra warm when the temperature dips below 30.
Anyway, I was darting for the spinning door of Winners when another man, who was also entering the store, gestured in front of him and said, “ladies first!”
UGH!!! WHY!!
Let me go first because I WAS THERE first. Not because I am an effing girl.
What the fuck. I was so angry. I was too effing hot to try on jackets seriously and decided I wouldn’t need one after all. I get too sweaty tearing around town anyway.
Thank you Mike and Brendon for never saying “ladies first!” Thank you thank you thank you.
Things the day brings… January 18, 2008
You have all heard me complain about my family’s nutzo antics.
Today I am mostly disappointed with my sister’s lack of ability to go places independent from being driven by a parent.
Today I also looked successlessly for something to eat and noting that the only things we had were frozen tv dinners, leftover tortellini and a package of palenta, I felt disappointed about how my father thinks those are all I will eat, and confused about why he thinks I don’t eat anything when I don’t eat them. Because I prefer vegetarian and ethnic foods that don’t take five minutes in a microwave to make does not equate an eating disorder. Sigh.
Anyways, today he came home from work with bags of groceries as I sat painting my ceiling fan and listening to The Doors. This is what he said:
“I bought some vegetarian samosas, some sesame ginger tofu for you, a package of perogies, some weight-watchers…”
I felt part of me die like a wistful blood cell trying to navigate a clogged artery. I don’t want to eat this gross pseudo food. I don’t want to I don’t want to!!! My dad came downstairs to herd a response out of me.
“Did you hear me?”
“I did. You know, we already have lots of Lean Cuisines.”
“Well? I got vegetarian samosas… perogies… anything interest you? I also got this stir-fry thing (pause)… And a Mini Cooper.”
“…What?”
Yeah. It’s black. I think the pinnacle of insanity has occurred on Seventh Avenue.
So there! January 16, 2008
On my facebook group concerning the atrocity that was Across the Universe, I received a comment.
—
Andrew Ferguson (Vancouver, BC) wrote
at 1:39pm on December 29th, 2007
actually, i really liked it(,(which is saying a lot seeing as i HATE musicals in general) and so did the people i went to see it with (die hard beatles fans all) those complaints on the wall here and up top seem like pretty generic movie and musical complaints… the sort of bitching someone does when they just want to complain for… god i dont even know why people would just want to complain without reason, thats just being a nay sayer… maybe for attention? or just to appear different? well all that’s just speculation, i just thought i’d mention that it really sounds like your all bitching just so you can bitch.
—
To this comment, I began a rebuttal.
—
Ahoy, monsieur Ferguson,
As per your comment on the movie Across the Universe, I have the following comments to make:
First off, bravo on your bravura in attempting to formulate some sort of cohesive argument! Do not mistake this for a compliment on your argument, which was trite —which is the nicest way I can say cliché to the point of stupidity.
Secondly, if someone liked this movie, they are not a fan of the Beatles I know and hold in such high esteem as to consider them genius. The songs in this movie were bastardizations of their templates; things that were meant to be made out of porcelaine but were instead cast in tin. Let’s, for a moment, assume that the music was AT LEAST respectable as music from a movie, (eventhough the score failed to manage even that.) No matter, because the “film” (I use the term ever so lightly, almost comically) was utterly abysmal. It was on par with the last movie that attempted to gross off of the popularity and artistic merit of the Beatles. It was called Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, and it was a tragedy in both film and music history. Across the Universe, although perhaps not so magnificently dreadful, is still guilty of relying solely on the prowess of the Beatles, and adding no intelligent plotline or dialogue or acting of even a mediocre level to turn the legacy of a great band into film. In fact, they did just the opposite. What is left is the bubblegummery of some famous tunes. If I wanted that, I’d catch an episode of American Idol. I thusly dismiss your argument as ridiculous and silly, based on the fact that I had good reason to ABHOR, LOATHE, DESPISE, DETEST and be UTTERLY REVOLTED AND REPULSED by this movie.
Thank you for your contribution.
